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After 3 days of rest since my first NAPFA test, I finally managed to drag myself out on a Sunday evening to run 2.4. I improved from 16mins to 14mins. I still remembered 2~3 weeks ago, my timing was a terrible 18mins. I need to get better! Must get 12mins!! Argh!! I need to learn proper breathing techniques.. I get out of breath and start to walk at the 5th round, my head hurts, my legs get numb.. damn! curse my low-blood pressure. :(
After that, i walked to the fitness corner to cool-down. Then I did pull-ups. Now, I can officially do 5 pull-ups without kicking. Thats a silver already! Woohoo! I still remembered 1 week ago, I could only do 2 pull-ups. Now can do 5! Wow. hard work do pay off.
Now my only obstacle and worry left is 2.4. If i can get a D for 2.4.. then i get Silver already. NO PTP! 2 MONTHS OF FREEDOM!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Even though final retake of NAPFA is in Febuary.. I'll give myself 1 month. ONE MONTH AND I'LL FUCKING GET MY SILVER BEFORE MY 20th BIRTHDAY!! D:<
CHIKUSHOU!! I now already eat alot. But I still seem as skinny as ever. :(
And nobody seems to notice that I gained weight or something.. :/
DOUSHITE?!! Why would nobody notice me?! T-T
Feeling so tired now, tomorrow still need wake up early to meet mich to do project stuff.. =.= Gonna eat dinner now.. then later eat egg white for supper.. *cough* I'm suffering now, but I'll will persevere! Meh.. now feel very motivated after watching this very motivational & touching anime.
TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!! Here's a short article about it: http://everything2.com/node/1933872
"Believe in yourself. Not you, who believes in me. Not me, who believes in you. Believe in you, who believes in yourself!" - Kamina
HUAT AH!!
I failed my NAPFA test today just because of the stupid 2.4!! ARGH!! Damn fed-up! D:
If I passed my 2.4 then I get Bronze already! damn!
Good thing was the pull-ups, I thought I could only do 2 since the last time I did it on sunday, I could only do 2 pull-ups. So I didn't have really get my hopes high, and thought I could only do 2 today. But to my surprise, I could do 4 pull-ups, I think I still had some strength left to go for a 5. So I was quite happy after that and thought maybe I could pass NAPFA on my first try.
But oh well.. totally flung the 2.4km run. Run half-way, stomach very pain.. T-T
Felt very demoralized, well, I still am. Sigh.. never mind, I'll work hard and chiong on the way. Last NAPFA retake would be during Febuary. I can make it. I will make it. I must make it. I die also dont want go PTP. I want my 2 months of FREEDOM! RAH!!!!!!!
Meh.. now is one of those times I wish I had a girlfriend to lend me some emotional and *cough* physical *cough* support. D:
Grrr.... I want to take my current phail NAPFA certificate and tear it into shreds. Can't wait to replace it with at least a BRONZE cert when I have my 2nd try.
Today perl test was also terrible. Totally got owned. So many questions I got wrong for it.. MCQ somemore. Sigh... Feel so sad. Sometimes being single sucks man.. gotta handle and tank all the problems by myself or even if got happy things also enjoy myself only. No one to share with also.. Damn.. I feel so tired and I'm sick of everything. sobx sobx :'(
Suddenly felt this throbbing pain & tightness in my chest, or rather heart. This feeling, emptiness, heart-brokeness. I guess I'm love sick. Sigh... Then again I also swore never again to anyhow accept someone that I don't even love no matter how despo I am, even if all the girls die already and there's only gheys in this world(eww zomg!) or there's only buang ones left.
Now the world, got so many problems also.. Global warming la, economic crisis la.. and one more.. wa.. finding-GF crisis! No really, this is a very very serious problem that makes even global warming and the economic thingy seem minor.
(lol! Jian Lun and me were talking about it while chilling out one night waiting for midnight movie and it goes something like this)
JL said: You see.. all the chio ones 90% kena taken already. *smokes his cig*
Me: *nods head* Ya lor, even those chio ones still single also got 1 whole long queue of suitors ah!
JL: Ya CB, we cannot fight la. We sure lose. *smokes cig*
Me: *nods head* Ya lor.
JL: Don't talk about chio ones, even those decent-decent not-bad ones also kena taken liao. Those above average or average. *smokes cig*
Me: *shakes head* Ya lor. *sigh*
JL: NB, even some of those buang ones ALSO got people take. *smokes cig*
Me: *carries on shaking head while facing floor*
JL: Eh that one like not bad *looks at random girl walking past*
Me: *looks up* Orh.. that one not nice la, okay only.
*random girl goes in some leet car owned by a rich faggot*
Me: He got car like this but still get this kind of girl. Wa, we lose liao. No need to fight. No hope liao.
JL: *smokes cig*
Me: *facepalm*
I guess it's kinda hopeless, at the rate I'm going, I think I won't be able to get myself a girlfriend AND a serious relationship.. maybe even until after NS. Wow man, the thought of it totally sucks. :(
I guess I'm feeling MelancholicNostalgia.
I'll get stronger. I swear. So I'll be able to protect my girlfriend-to-be.. even though she may never come. I'll get stronger and I'll wait. I'll wait for my angel.. I'll wait till my time is up...
